Case Studies

Linda has had a highly successful career, good friends and a busy social life.  However, Linda finds herself without an intimate partner and as retirement approaches worries about spending the rest of her life alone.  Linda has had several romantic relationships in the past, but none have lasted.  Linda worries that she is to blame for the lack of a successful partnership but doesn’t understand why this may be.  Together we explore Linda’s views of what a successful intimate partnership would look like and what judgments, fears and/or barriers she may be experiencing that get in the way.  As we begin to understand what Linda expects of herself and a partner, we unravel unrealistic expectations, self sabotaging behavior patterns and Linda’s deep seated lack of confidence as a romantic partner.  As Linda begins to understand how her belief systems impacted her behavior toward others, she can challenge these understandings and begin to change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors.  Linda begins to approach possible relationships with a more open attitude without judgments and finds she is enjoying dating again.

Annie has elderly parents and has recently quit her job and moved home to assist her mother in caring for her father who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers.  Annie wants to help her family but feels her mother relies on her too much for not only practical support but constant emotional support and companionship. Annie struggles with motivating herself to perform everyday tasks and frequently feels too anxious to keep appointments.  During our sessions it was revealed that Annie suffered sexual abuse as a child from a family member.  Annie has never told anyone in the family and blames herself for allowing this abuse to happen to her.  We work on helping Annie recognize how her beliefs about herself serve to impact her ability to move forward with her goals and to build her own independent life.  Annie begins to embrace the idea that she can have the independent life she wants and her behavior changes as a result.  Annie has begun setting boundaries with her parents, hired a caregiver to assist with her parents needs and challenged herself to engage in a more independent life.

Cherie is sad about the relationship ending and worried about whether or not she is doing the right thing.  In addition, Cherie’s job is extremely stressful and it leaves Cherie little time to participate in activities she enjoys that help with her anxiety.  Cherie has a difficult relationship with her mother and sister and often finds her boundaries are not respected.  Cherie has trouble trusting her own instincts and worries that she makes the wrong choices.  We worked together to understand the messaging that Cherie received growing up in a household where she was not taught to trust herself and the self sabotaging behavior she has as a result.  Once Cherie understood her thoughts and behaviors were a result of what happened to her, and not a fatal flaw, she has begun to change her self-talk to be more encouraging as she learns to trust herself.